What does it mean to Love Authentically?

In my last blog entry, I discussed what I mean by “Live Authentically”. The second part of my motto in my life and my work is “Love Authentically”. Let’s talk about what that means in the real world…

Love - Every day we interact with people in our lives: family, friends, lovers, and strangers. Each and every interaction with another person is an expression of our relationship with them and the others in our lives. Do you foster contempt or regretful tolerance or acceptance and love in your relationships?

Authentically - Just as each person walking this earth is unique with complicated genomes and a lifetime of experiences, each relationship is completely unique. The relationship connecting two people is comprised of what makes each person unique, plus any and all shared experiences. Each additional connection increases the complication exponentially.

Authenticity in relationships is recognizing, embracing, and celebrating the unique connection between individual people.

To love authentically is to give each relationship between you and another the opportunity to be what is best for each person in the relationship. Not what was best for you and your ex, or for your parents, or for Cinderella and her Prince.

To love authentically is to fully accept the other person you are in a relationship with in the moment. Every personality trait, unfortunate circumstance, and every choice they make about their own life.

To love authentically is to make choices in each moment considering how it may impact the other people who are in relationships with you. Each choice we make in our lives will inevitably affect the lives of those connected to us.

To love authentically is to accept that other people’s relationships are unique to them. Your experiences and values are different from theirs. To love them authentically is to allow them to conduct their relationships without judgment and contempt.

Loving authentically is men loving women, women loving men, men loving men, women loving women, cisgender loving transgender, kinky loving kink, and every other possible combination between two (or more) people.

My goal as a relationship counselor is to partner with my clients to discover what is best for each participant in the relationship. I help my clients explore how each person can embrace and celebrate the beauty of their unique connection in a world that expects all relationships to look the same.

Do you love authentically? How you do celebrate the unique connection in your relationships?

If you’re ready to love - yourself, your family, your lover, your world - authentically but you're not sure how to get there, call us.